WWF Smackdown Report 11/25/99
Taped from Rochester, NY
Announcers are Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole
Report by Eric Allen
Smackdown opens with some footage from last Monday, that nutty Vinny Mac has some serious Road Rage, eh?
Show opens with DX waiting for Vince with some guy, yay
Opening Credits
Jr Introduces The Big Show, why doesn't he wear those stylish over one shoulder things that Andre wore?? He gets a decent pop. though. Says he is the luckiest man on Earth, the WWF title means more to him than anything and wishes his dad was here....Countdown and Y2J comes out. Says tonight, He is Show's daddy! Hehehe Says size doesn't matter, AND says that Show has a cottage cheese ass!! No DQ Title match for tonight! Since TBS is a fighting champion, here we go
TBS VS Y2J No holds barred for the WWF title
TBS is just Dominating Jericho, choke in the corner with the big boot. Nut shot by Jericho and a followup Missile Drop-kick to the back of the head. Body Press by TBS and the AHHHHHHH ChokeSlam sign, but here comes BossMan. TBS and BossMan start brawling on the outside...and here comes Chyna and Kitty. Chyna with a hammer shot to the head of Jericho. Payback is a bitch, and so is Chyna apparently. TBS back in the ring, and here is a HUGE chokeslam for the pin.
Winner:The Big Show
Black Limo pulls up with Vince and Co, and gets handed a Temp. Order of Protection by the guy who was with DX at the top of the show. Vince has to stay 50 feet away from DX, some jawing from both DX and Vince as we head to commercials.
Let me take this time to say that I am fighting off whatever it in in Turkey that makes you want to pull a Rip Van Winkle, so lets hope this is a good show.
Shane tells Vince to relax about the TOP and here are the stooges to get Vince to name the main even for the night, The NAO vs the Hardys in a cage and HHH/XPAC vs Shane and Test for tonight.
Mae Young and Moolah are in the crowd, Mae is dressed as a Turkey and drinking Wild Turkey. Moolah is dressed like a Pilgrim
Out comes Kurt Angle, the only REAL athlete in the WWF, give his Gold medal to the King to hold on to while he works on his mic skills. Asshole chant starting while Angle says why he is thankful. Kurt's asking for respect from the crowd once he wins.
D'Lo Brown makes his way to the ring while the announcers talk about that PTO ordeal and the loss of sponsors.
D'Lo vs Kurt Angle
Some mat wrestling to start and then some more basic hip tosses. D'lo working on Angle in the corner. Off the ropes and hits Tito Santana's finisher, known as the flying burrito, then a bodyslam. Angle pulls some sort of suplex and gets the win? That was out of nowhere.
Winner: Kurt Angle
The Thanksgiving Feast is being set up, look at all that food.
Al Snow and Mick are talking in the back. Al doesn't like the way that Mick brown noses The Rock. Mick says that he is still friends with Al, but the he and The Rock get a better reaction from the crowd.
Commercials
Don't you think the Navy would want to advertise to their target audience?? But, this is from the same people who send letters to my house and can't even spell my name correctly. I ask you, how hard is it to spell Joe?
DX is complaining about have to wrestle tonight, being Thanksgiving and all. Wait...didn't they tape this show Tuesday? DX is going to try to be more thankful
Ivory and Jaclyn are going to go at it in a Grave match! Yay!
Val Venis is in the ring, does his thing on the mic. Says Thanksgiving is a guys favorite holiday. Stuff about picking up a bird and stuffing it and the ladies sucking the meat off the drumsticks. I am suddenly thinking of Thanksgiving in a whole new way. Bulldog come out, and we are treated to clips from Monday when they were partners.
Val Venis vs Bull Dog for the European Title
Brawling to start and Val on the receiving ens of his patented hanging suplex. Bull Dog into the ropes sidewalk slam by Val. Bull Dog hits Val with a low blow while Val was climbing the ropes. Why was that so short? Bulldog doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, he is from the other side of the pond.
Winner: Val by DQ
DX walking around outside, trying to find things to be thankful for, but Rochester sucks, says DX. They start picking on a homeless man and some woman sitting on a bench. Invites them to get some food at the WWF feast.
We are all invited to the Test/Steph wedding Monday on Raw...
Commercials...
Wrestlemania 2000 looks good, too bad I don't have a N64. Say, any fans out there? Probably not, but if so, I do take gifts...hint hint hint.
There was a dead spot during this set of commercials...space for rent??
Kane Vs Big Boss Man for the Hardcore Title
Asshole chant starts before BossMan gets in the ring. Big rights by Kane to start. Clothesline by Kane that sends BossMan over the top rope and to the outside...where all Hardcore matches end up. Kane leading Boss Man through the crowd, random violence as BossMan gets tossed into the penalty box. BossMan is having virtually no offense here folks; your #1 contender. Miss Kitty is the ref for the Gravy Bowl later tonight, yay!! Torrie is watching the match on a monitor, Viscera starts chasing her. Run Tori, Run! Tori runs to Kane to tell him, but that hairy man Prince Albert blindsides him and BossMan gets the Pin. How long before Tori turns on him?
More DX nuttyness outside as they invite some more of the less fortunate to dinner. The call one of the bums Bam Bam, the wars are heating up.
Mae Young is causing all sorts of ruckass in the front row.
The Rock and Sock connection are shown backstage pacing! They look ready to go, but first we have to get through some...
Commercials
Looks like the Coast Guard is sticking with the WWF, way to go!
Video montage of Andrew and Steph's romance. She regains her memory and asks Him to marry Her. Stephie is going to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party. I put money on it that she doesn't make it to the alter.
Rock and Sock Connection come out
Mankind out first and on the mic, sees some kid in a huge Socko and throws his concentration a bit. Thanks the Rock, which results in a Rocky chant. He gives an apology to the Rock for yelling at him about throwing away his book. IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN' the place goes nuts as Rocky makes his way to the ring and raises the peoples eyebrow. I can still smell what my mom was cooking earlier today. The Rock has come back to Rochester. Since this is Smackdown, the Rock's show, he notices all the pies set up outside the ring. We got apple pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, poontang pie..w0ah. Thats the Kings favorite. The Rock knows that Michael Cole has never had any poontang pie, when you're ready for poontang, poontang will be ready for you. Cole tries some of the pie.....tell the Rock how your first experience with the pie was. You all know whats next. IT DOESN'T MATTER how it was! IF YA SMELLLALALALA WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'
Out come the Hollys.
Rock and Sock Connection vs Hardcore Hollys for #1 contender
Al Snow watching in the back, jealous of the Rock. Mankind sends Crash out of the ring, but the Hollys regain control. Big suplex by the super heavyweight Hardcore Holly on Mankind. Tag to The Rock, who promptly cleans house. All four men in the ring, Mankind sends one of the Hollys out of the ring,I think it was Hardcore. The Rock then proceeds to give the peoples elbow to Crash for the win.
Winners: Rock and Sock Connection
All the "bums" are sitting down at a table. They are talking about all the food as the "bums" look on, acting very hungry. I am thinking that they aren't going to give these guys anything to eat, we will have to wait and see because its time for some more
Commercials
Wow an hour has already gone by. The matches are going pretty fast tonight. I am thinking we are going to have a nice long main event, or the chicks are going to have a lot of time to work with.
The WWF Boot of the Week:
Moolah kicking Mae Young into the cake at Steph's shower.
The King interviews Moolah and Mae Young. They are going to be at the Billboard Music Awards in December. Moolah tells Mae to shut up. They are wasting time here. They plug End of Days some more, I have to go see this so I am not going to look at the clips.
Joey ABS vs Fatso..err FaTu w/ Too Cool
This guy has a rear end like a truck. Talk about drum sticks! Joey delivers some rights, but the a futile. Sunset flip attempt. Fatso sits on him....Jericho says Show has cottage cheese, look at this guy. Banzi drop on ABS, Fatso sets him up for the sit-down piledriver for the win. The rest of the posse runs in, but Too Cool run in for the save. GM Sexy gets Fatso to dance. This guy is over pretty fast. He can move pretty well for a guy his size.
Winner: FaTu
More of DX teasing the "bums" with talks of all the glorious food. They can look, but no touching. One of these guys looks like Greg Allman, too funny.
Yay!! They are getting ready for the Gravy Bowl Match! Dammint, we have to wait. Its Commercial time.
Now DX is eating infront of the less fortunate, and they aren't even sharing. One of the "bums" say something and they all get kicked out!
Ok here we go. Turkey Bowl Match time!
Ivory vs Jaclyn with Ms Kitty as the ref
Ya know what, no play by play here. Im going to enjoy this one. King making some pretty funny jokes here and the women as slipping all over the place. Jaclyn wins the match with a move that I honestly didn't see. Kitty and Ivory are going at it now.
Winner: Jaclyn
A busty EMT comes down to the ring because Kitty is choking and, you guessed it. Ivory pulls off her shirt and throws her into the gravy. The EMT was suffering from the same affliction as that Nitro girl last Monday
Shane and Test are getting ready
We go to Commercial
Tuesday on UPN WWF Greatest Hits 8/7 central
The Rock is going to take Santa's bag with all of the Wrestlemania video games in it and stick up Santa's candyass. Well, looks like Mr Johnson is getting a big lump of coal this year.
Godfather w/ Hoes vs Al Snow w/Head jealousy of Rock
The same Ref is working this match that has been working all of Godfathers matches lately. Al Snow attacks right away. Godfather comes back and hits a turnaround legdrop. Al Snow goes for Godfather with a chairshot, but hits the turnbuckle and then himself, Hoe Train and rollup for the win.
Winner:Godfather
More Commercials
Hey wait, isn't Smackdown running unopposed tonight? You'd think that they'd put together a better show. Tonight looks like a run through performance, not the actual show.....all well
NAO vs Hardy Boys w/ breasts w/ Terri in a Steel Cage(Chain link fence) for the Tag Team Titles
You can win by pinfall, submission or escape from the cage. Blond Hardy and Road Dogg start off. Jeff Hardy hits a drop-kick to the back of Doggs head. 3 punch diddy by the Dogg as Matt tries to escape the cage. Double team, now all four men in the ring. Dogg hits moonsault?? Wow, cover for 2. Mr Ass slingshots Jeff into the Cage. Jeff Hardy with a senton bomb. Matt Hardy to the top of the cage and hits a moonsault on Jeff and Dogg. Mr Ass got nutted by the ropes and is still down. Jeff hardy out of the ring, but the ref is down. XPAC sends him back into the ring. Matt and Dogg climbing out, but XPAC kicks Matt and Mr Ass escapes through the gate.
Winners:NAO
Some really cool high flying in that one, but again, it seemed rushed.
Commercials
The new Bond game for the Playstation looks sweet, and no, thats not a hint. I already have a playstation.
Remember Tobacco is Wacko, but apparently only if you're a teen.
Are you ready??? XPAC and HHH vs Shane and Test
XPAC looks like a goof with that hat on, has anyone told him that yet? Cuts to backstage; Vince lets the homeless people back in and gives him the food, what a good guy. Shane and Test make their way to the ring. They pair off, XPAC/Shane and Test/HHH. King: The McMahon clan is fired up. XPAC and HHH double team on Shane. HHH pounding on Shane and more double teaming in DX's corner. How cool is it to be able to beat the tar out of your boss? Big knee to the face of Shane by HHH and then a tag to XPAC. Test is just chilling in the corner waiting for the hot tag so he can clean house. Shane trying to get to his soon-to-be-brother-in-law. Test tries to come in, but the ref stops him, and another double team by DX. Shane can sell better that most of the people in both Feds. XPAC gets a mule kick to the neither region by Shane. Test tagged in, so is HHH. Big sidewalk slam by Test. HHH comes back with a clothesline. Pumphandle slam for 2, Shane spears XPAC and is all over him! The NAO down to the ring, Test on the top rope, XPAC hits the X-Factor for the 3
Winners:DX
After that match DX beats on Shane. Bronco buster by XPAC. Test is outside the ring. Vince comes out from the back, he has to stay 50 feet away. He is pointing at DX. Shane gets a pedigree by HHH. The Hardy's run in and now the Hollys, Kane, Prince Albert, D'Lo, Too Cool. Hell EVERYONE is in the ring. Farooq gets the pies and gives them to Bradshaw......FOOD FIGHT!!!!!! Turkeys are flying everywhere! Where is the Poontang Pie? Can you believe that they are selling Turkey shots? Moolah hits The King in the face with a pie, we all saw that one coming!
