Live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mean Gene is kickin it in the ring and brings out the Big Stroker, Jeff Jarrett. Double J's got his remix of Kid Rock's Cowboy for a song and is getting some major heel heat. JJ appropriates the stick from Slapnutz Gene and tells the fans he is still the chosen one, and he doesn't need the Powers that be, or the Outsiders, all he needs is the WCW Title, and that Dustin Rhodes has screwed him out of it several times. A big "asshole" chant starts up, and after trying to edit it out, WCW let's it go, and Jeff says he's going to end Rhodes's career at Starrcade in a Bunkhouse Brawl match, and that if anyone else wants a shot, to step up and take it. JJ cracks on Tenay for a little bit and then threatens Okerlund with the guitar, which brings out Tenay, who says he's going to take matters into his own hands. JJ apologizes to Tenay but tells him to stay out of his business. After his music hits again, JJ jumps Tenay from behind and slaps on the figure four, which brings out Goldberg to make the save. As if Bill wasn't over enough, having him save the damsel in distress Tenay lights a big Goldberg chant up.
Tony and Bobby run down the lineup for tonight, then cut to the back where Tony Marinara, Vito, and Johnny are making their plans for revenge on LeRoux and Disco, promising to have them meet the boss tonight. In the office, Curt Hennig is talking with the PTB to get Curly Bill hired, saying he has a new gimmick, which CB calls "Shane." PTB says it's stupid, but he'll hire him at minimum wage. Rhonda Sing (big chick from the mud match last week) storms in and asks who she has to talk to to get a shot around here.
After the break, Tony recaps the fight between Brian Knobs and Fit Finlay last week. Camera cuts to a scene in the woods where Knobs is late for a meeting with Finlay, and the scene begins to resemble a scene from boot camp, with Fit as the DI. Finlay tells Knobs to take off his clown outfit and hands him a new set of clothes, then promises to get him in shape, and demands that Knobs call him sir from now on.
Norman Smiley comes down to the ring in Packer's gear and a cheesehead hat (which instantly makes me like Normie less) and challenges anyone who wants it a shot at the hardcore belt, bringing out...
Match 1: Screamin Norman Smiley vs. Rhonda Sing
WCW Hardcore Title Match
Rhonda beats the crap out of Smiley with a trash can, chair, and kendo stick. I notice that Norman is wearing a Mark Chmura jersey...he takes any more shots like he is and he'll be on the sidelines with Chewie.. When Rhonda isn't watching, Norman cracks her with a cane and goes for a fire extinguisher, only to be met by a trash can to the head. Norman appeases the crowd with the hardcore wiggle behind Rhonda, but she sprays him with the extinguisher. Norman reverses a whip and sends her into the table propped in the corner, then covers for the pin
Winner: Hardcore Norman Smiley
Backstage, the Maestro and Symphony are trying to tune his piano, when the lid drops on Maestro's head, and David Flair runs off with Symphony. In the office of PTB, Psychosis and La Parka are told that they have to fight each other right now in the office to see who meets Jushin Liger tonight, winner gets the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title. La Parka refuses initially, until Psychosis jumps him from behind. Elsewhere, Bret Hart is shown arriving at the building.
Luger is trying to make up with Liz from outsider her dressing room, and when he mentions champagne, the door opens up. Elsewhere, Tony Marinara is surprised by Disco and Lash, pretending to be pizza deliverymen
Match 2: Jushin Liger vs. Psychosis
IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title Match
Buzzkill is in the crowd, walking around holding a big peace sign. With the crowd being deafening in their silence, Psycho gets in a argument with Charles Robinson, shoves him, and CR shoves Psycho back, knocking him down. Liger recovers from a missile dropkick and the fight continues. Liger slaps on a submission hold but Psych wiggles out, but Liger regains his title by wrapping his legs around one of Psych's arms and rolling him up. Post match, La Parka hits the ring hard and hits Psychosis harder with the chair
Winner and new IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Champ: Jushin "Thunder" Liger
Backstage, the Nitro Girls are trashtalking the wonderful, beautiful Spice while playing poker, when Vito and Johnny show up and challenge them to a rousing game of strip poker. This could be bad for the girls, who admit to not being that good at the game, but no fear, the gentlemen promise to show them how to play. Elsewhere, Luger is continuing to try and make up with Liz, who is listening but doesn't seem inclined to accept the Package.
Somewhere in the back, Maestro is stumbling around looking for his missing Symphony...maybe she's in a contract meeting somewhere...Mean Gene interviews Mona about the three way match that has Cruiserweight title implications.
Match 3: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias vs. Mona
If Madusa wins, she gets a Cruiser title shot at Starrcade, if Mona wins, she gets the Cruiser shot, and if Evan wins, neither girl gets a shot. Madusa sends Evan out of the ring, and it's just a Mona/Madusa match. Evan goes to the table to provide some color commentary. While Madusa is tangling with Mona, Evan runs in and seperates them, only to get pinned by Madusa. Post match, JJ hits the ring, clears out Evan and nails Madusa with the guitar, then calls out Goldberg for tonight.
Backstage, a tied up Tony is threatening Disco and Lash, until he gets a newspaper shoved in his mouth. Disco promises a surprise for him. In Liz's room, she agrees to team back up with Lex, but then takes his bottle of champagne and pours it all over him. Guess she changed her mind...
Maestro is still roaming the arena looking for Symphony, and is so disturbed, that he doesn't notice Flair behind him with the girl. In another location, Vamp and Jerry Only talk about their tag match with Dr. Death and Oklahoma
Match 4: Dr. Death & Oklahoma vs. Vampiro and Jerry Only
Oklahoma comes to the ring in a nifty little wrestling singlet and headset microphone so he can wrestle the match and call it at the same time. OK begs Steve to let him start the match so he can get his hat back from Vampiro. Vamp goes to hit OK, and he runs and makes the tag and starts calling the match. Doc manhandles Jerry Only, but the Misfit manages to tag in Vamp, who hits Steve with a missile dropkick. Outside the ring, Oklahoma nails Only with a chairshot. Back in the ring, Death and Vampiro go at it. Vamp goes up top but gets nailed with a boot from Oklahoma. Williams hits a few standing clotheslines, then tags in OK to finish the match. Oklahoma comes off the bottom rope with an elbow and scores the pinfall
Winners: Dr. Death and Oklahoma.
Backstage, the Nitro Girls are pulling the shwerve on Johnny and Vito, distracting the guys while they pull extra cards out of their tops, and the hitmen lose another hand and another layer of clothes. Disco and Lash are elsewhere with Tony Marinara, and are setting him up to be tarred and feathered. Luger and Hart make their way to the ring for the next match.
Mean Gene is with the Outsiders, talking about Sting and Scott Hall's match, and Benoit and Nash's match later on tonight. Hall says he invented ladder matches, so after Nash takes care of Benoit, Starrcade will be like a night off for him. Nash says that he's going to use Benoit as practice for his powerbomb match with Sid at Starrcade.
Match 5: Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart
WCW World Title Match
Best chant of the night so far starts..."Schiavone Sucks" Hart dominates from the opening bell, working over Luger's legs in revenge for Luger's actions with the baseball bat. Luger gains the advantage, and Liz comes out to ringside, pursued by Sting. Sting asks her if she's going to represent trash or will she represent him, saying her time is now or never. Luger goes to the ropes to argue with the two. Liz runs off with Sting, and Luger gets nailed with a Russian Leg Sweep, followed up by a Sharpshooter, quickly forcing Luger to submit.
Winner: Bret Hart
Someone in the production trailer goofs and the video from before of Hennig getting Curly Bill a job is shown again, then a shot of Midnight roaming around backstage.
In the PTB's office, La Parka is named the "Chairman" of WCW, and his duty consists of nailing people with chairs when told to by PTB. Harlem Heat comes in, and are told that they will get a shot at the tag belts at Starrcade, then they get nailed from behind by La Parka and Creative Control.
Outside the arena, Roddy Piper is shown arriving at the arena spouting off about the PTB. Somewhere in the boiler room, David Flair is getting a wee bit psychotic with Symphony. Mean Gene is with Jerry Flynn, who unfortunately is having another block match tonight. Yay.
Match 6: Asya w/Revolution vs. Midnight
Revolution is sporting some black uniforms and a militia like gimmick look. Douglas says that they never turned their back on America, that America turned their backs on them, and they reveal the new flag of the Revolution, which is nothing fancy. Saturn does his "dumb guy Saturn" mic shtick, comparing the Revolution to the Black Panthers. The lights drop and when they come back, Midnight is magically in the ring. After a back and forth match, Midnight has Asya pinned when the Revolution pull the ref out of the ring and start beating Midnight down, till Duggan runs out and puts up a good fight until getting overwhelmed by the Revolution.
Winner: No Contest
Backstage, Larry Zybysko is looking for the PTB office, saying he got a important memo that he had to meet with them tonight. Piper is walking around backstage pondering out loud about his match with Creative Control tonight.
A Nitro Party video is shown of a gothic looking girl saying she loves WCW and thinks David Flair is great, while Celine Dion plays in the background...
Match 7: Roddy Piper vs. Creative Control
I wonder if ref Piper can tag in wrestler Piper, make the pin, and win the tag belts, or would he have to be as crazy as David Flair to pull that one off? Piper says he's the ref, so until the bell rings, Creative Control has to do whatever he says, and that first, he's going to pat them down so he can make sure they aren't cheating. CC refuses, and Piper threatens to count them out. Piper says that this is an I quit match, and the only way to win is to make him say I quit or to make one of them say I quit. Crowd starts a loud Roddy chant. The twins proceed to beating the hell out of Piper, but he refuses to quit. The twins set Piper up for a piledriver onto a steel chair, but Goldberg runs in and levels one of the twins, Piper fights out of the driver, gets a belt, and chokes the other twin out until he says I quit
Winner: Rowdy Roddy Piper
Postmatch, Piper and Goldberg have a little staredown, until Piper raises Goldberg's arm. Backstage, Disco and Lash are tormenting tiny Tony, who is pleading for his safety, and not to mess with his hair. Man, Lash can work that cajun accent pretty damn good. The guys dump a mixture onto Tony and cover him in feathers. Somewhere else, Vito and Johnny are still stuck in their losing ways in the strip poker game. Johnny says he has the best hand of all and makes it an all or nothing bet, losers take it all off.
Maestro finds one of Symphony's shoes and continues in his search...
Tony recaps the Dustin Rhodes/Jeff Jarrett feud, leading up to their match at Starrcade.
Match 8: Dustin Rhodes vs Meng
Dustin is wearing the 7ven outfit, minus the facepaint and name. Rhodes has control early, nails a nice bulldog, but Meng hops up and side kicks Rhodes. Meng has him in a corner and out comes JJ, who tosses Meng out of the ring, and Dustin and JJ go at it, and Rhodes sets JJ up for the Shattered Dreams, when the Outsiders make the save. Meng hops back in and gets jumped by JJ and Nash, receiving a guitar smash and big boot. Nash powerbombs Rhodes, and the music hits.
Winner: Dustin Rhodes
In the PTB's office, Larry is asked why Thunder sucks, and Larry says it's because there are no real stars on the show. PTB says that that's all going to change this Thursday, and maybe even he'll replace the announcers. Larry says that the announcers are the only good thing on Thunder, and that he'll never be one of the PTB's boys, then says that Hennig used to be a world champ, but now he can't beat a woman. PTB tells Larry that he has to wrestle Curt tonight, and if he loses, he's out of a job in WCW. Larry says fine, and if he wins, then the PTB are gone from WCW.
The artist formerly known as Prince Iaukea is shown backstage in a scene looking like "When Doves Cry"
Match 9: Curt Hennig w/Shane (Curly Bill/Vincent/Virgil) vs. Larry Zybysko
Big Larry chant starts right away. Charles Robinson goes down early from a bump by Curt (Bucs intercept pass in endzone!) Hennig hits Larry with a tumbling neckbreaker, then puts him in an abdominal stretch, Robinson is still out. Curt goes for a suplex, but Larry ddt's and slaps on a submission hold. Shane jumps in and changes things around, but Arn Anderson runs in and nails Curt and Shane with a baseball bat and pulls Larry on top of Curt...three count, and Zybysko wins! Post match, Creative Control shows Robinson the replay of Arn's run in, and Robinson reverses the decision. Arn nails Creative Control with the bat and him and Larry argue with Robinson.
Winner: Curt Hennig
After break, Disco and Lash are messing with Tony some more, and stick an apple in his mouth for garnish...elsewhere in the building, Vito and Johnny are the big losers in the strip poker game
Match 10: Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Nash w/Scott Hall
Hall's got a handy dandy ladder with him, and he sits on the ladder with a headset to do some commentary. Crowd starts a beer chant, you know who's side they're on.. Nash dominates early on and hits a huge side slam, but Benoit gets his second wind and takes control. After fighting out of the corner, Nash hits the big boot and sets up for the powerbomb, but Benoit reverses into the crossface. Hall gets the ladder and bumps the ref. Benoit takes out Hall, Nash goes to nail him with the ladder, but Benoit dropkicks the ladder into him. Benoit sets up the ladder and hits a huge cross body onto Hall, but gets nailed by Nash from behind. Nash hits the powerbomb, and the Outsiders set him up for Hall to hit the Edge onto the ladder, when Sid runs out and makes the save for Benoit.
Winner: I'm guessing Nash by a count out, never heard a bell...
DDP is shown heading to the ring, and Vito and Johnny are running around backstage, fully clothed, thank God.
Mean Gene is with the Stinger, and wants the scoop on Liz. Sting says everyone wants to know what's up, and he even has his doubts sometime, but he has made a career of being one step ahead of Luger, and tells the Outsiders...don't sing it, bring it.
Vito and Johnny hit the ring, saying he is tired of the fans, tired of Disco and Lash, and call them out for good ol beatin...Disco's music hits, and out come the girls from last week's strip club vignettes. The boys run them down a little, and out come Lash and Disco to crack some heads. Tony Marinara hits the ring and takes down both men with a lead pipe. The hitmen go to work, and roll both men out of the ring and take them backstage. In the boiler room area, Maestro is still searching for his woman...he better watch out, he might get stuck in the block with that lethal jobber, Jerry Flynn.
After the break, the hitmen load the guys into the trunk of the car and start celebrating, until Disco and Lash jack the car and take off.
Uh-oh, the Maestro is stuck in the block with that raging beast Flynn. Flynn lays him out quick, but opens the door to leave and gets cracked by a crowbar from David Flair.
Mean Gene is with referee Nick Patrick, who says he his barring EVERYONE from ringside during the Sting/Scott Hall match. Sting is making his way to the ring while signing a contract with Liz, and DDP is shown tying his bootlaces.
Match 11: Sting w/Liz vs. Scott Hall w/Kevin Nash
The ref sends Nash away from ringside, but when Liz produces legal papers, she gets to stay. Nash takes a spot at the broadcast table, and when he helps Hall beat on Sting, the ref sends him all the way to the back. Hall slows it down with an abdominal stretch, and Sting's face turns white...wait, it's always that way... Hall must be a little winded, as he applies a sleeper to Sting. Sting fights out and after a few tries, hits the ten punches to the head and lands a big haymaker. Hall gets his wind and applies the fallaway slam. Liz gets on the apron, and when Hall gives her the crotch chops, she maces him, allowing Sting to hit the Stinger splash once, twice, and right into the deathlock, and Scotty boy taps out.
Flair is dragging Symphony towards the ring area, and DDP is making his way to the ring, looking in better shape than when he left to shoot the movie...
Flair's music hits and out comes little boy Dave with his new friend Symphony. Flair grabs the mic and tells Maestro he has about 10 seconds to come get his bride, but instead, out comes the king of badda bing, Diamond Dallas Page. Flair tries to hit him with the crowbar, but DDP sneaks it and hits a Diamond Cutter. DDP gets the mic and addresses the rumor about him jumping ship to the WWF. DDP says he always believes that you leave with who brought you to the dance, and that it's all about loyalty, but that he trusts no one and that he's looking out for #1 from now on, and calls out Sid
Match 12: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sid Vicious
Crowd starts a big Sid chant, and Tony announces that Vampiro vs. Dr. Death is signed for Starrcade, and if Vamp wins, he gets Oklahoma in the ring for five minutes, just the two of them.
After a top rope clothesline, DDP attempts the Diamond Cutter, but Sid shoves him off, knocking out the ref, and Sid hits the powerbomb, then sets up for another, when the Outsiders hit the ring and double team Sid. Benoit runs out and starts on Hall and then works on Nash. Jeff Jarrett runs in and it's 3 on 2, then the crowd pops for Bret Hart, who takes it out on JJ and Nash, then Hall. WCW Security hits the ring, with some extra ref's and breaks up the festivities. Nick Patrick goes to the broadcast position, grabs the mic, and says screw it, they haven't had control all night, so they're all leaving the show, and that Goldberg and JJ will have to be a lumberjack match
Winner: No Contest
After commercial, the brawl is still in the ring, with Creative Control in now, and out comes Goldberg to clear the ring of the Outsiders, Jarrett, and CC. They all leave the ring, but Piper comes out and orders Jeff Jarrett into the ring, and appoints everyone else as a lumberjack.
Jarrett still refuses and tries to leave the ring area when he is confronted by several Green Bay Packers, who head him back to the ring, with some help from Dustin Rhodes.
Match 13: Goldberg vs. Jeff Jarrett
Hart, Benoit, Sid, Rhodes, Hall, Nash, and Creative Control are the lumberjacks and Piper is the special ref. Goldberg dominates early, hitting some big moves, when Jarrett goes outside only to be beat up and tossed back in for Goldberg to hit an armbar submission, til Jarrett rolls out. Goldberg goes outside and a huge brawl ensues. JJ and Goldberg are back in the ring, when JJ nails Bill with two chairshots. JJ gets Piper to count the pin, but Bill kicks out at 2. Jarrett whips Goldberg into the ropes and drops a knee into his gut. JJ goes up top and hits a nice cross body, but only a two count. Jarrett whips him again, then puts on a sleeper. Crowd is chanting Goldberg while Sid encourages them. Sid, Dustin and Benoit are smacking the mat and working the crowd and Bill's feeling it...Goldberg drops some elbows and breaks the hold...mandatory 10 count starts, both men up at 10. Both men collide off the ropes and the 10 count starts again. Goldberg's up first and gets clocked by Nash. JJ makes the cover but Piper is distracted. JJ argues with Piper, Goldberg rolls him up for a 2 count. Goldberg nails a side kick, and sets up for a spear when Nash grabs him and pulls him out of the ring, then starts beating on Goldberg. Sid makes the save, inside the ring Hart nails JJ with the World Title belt. Goldberg hits JJ with the spear, then lays on the Jackhammer, and Roddy hits the mat three times, signifying another win for Da Man! Great Main Event!!
Winner: Bill Goldberg.