Tonight...Quarterfinal action in the Title Tournament, Torrie in some hot looking clothes, the Outsiders drink beer, and Goldberg gets angry and hurts people...strap yourselves in, and I'll sum up three hours in about 10 minutes...
Show opens with Hardcore Screamin' Norman Smiley in a destined to be brutal match against The Mouth himself, Jimmy Hart
Match 1: Screamin Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart
Normie comes to the ring in a football uniform w/pads, and Mr. Hart makes his way down wearing a suit of armor. After shaking off some trashcan shot, Hart tosses some powder into Norman's eyes, and proceeds to beat the crap out of him. Crowd actually starts a Smiley chant. Brian Knobs runs out and nails Norman with a chair, getting a two count for Hart. Hart and Knobs set up a table outside the ring, but Norman throws some liquid into Hart's face. Knobs tries to hit Smiley with a chair, but Norman ducks and he hits Hart instead. Knobs lays Smiley on the table, Hart tries to nail him with a deadly armored elbow, but Norman moves, and Hart goes through the table and Smiley gets the pin. Post-match, Knobs softens Smiley up in preparation for the Hardcore Title Match at Mayhem.
Winner: Norman Smiley
Bobby and Tony now have a new, steel-reinforced broadcast table, and Tony reviews the Title Tournament matchups for tonight. They hype the House of Pain cage match between the Animals and the Revolution, the Sid/Rick Steiner match, and announce that Goldberg will meet Hennig tonight, if Hennig can win he gets a new contract. Backstage, Kimberley finds Terry Taylor and asks the location of the "powers", and we see the Outsiders arrive, with Hall wearing a University of Central Florida shirt, and Nash wearing makeup and a real curly wig, looking a little like Sid.
Tenay is shown backstage talking to Spice (yeah!) Fyre, and Tygress. Tenay says that Spice is supposed to fight AC Jazz tonight, but she is a no-show. Spice says that Jazz figured out what was best for the Nitro Girls, and that Jazz is no longer a Nitro Girl either. Tenay asks what does that mean for the rest of the girls, and before Spice can answer, she gets jumped by Tygress. Check out Spice's official website at www.prowrestle.com/spice
The Outsiders make their way to the ring. Hall grabs the mic, and says that Sid is as dumb as he looks, and he has the proof right here, points to Nash. Nash goes into a Sid character, calls himself the ruler of the world, and that if he could chew gum and walk, he'd be the US Champ right now. Sid must be pretty over in his home state, since the crowd is booing Nash. Sid/Nash says he might look like a jackass, might be slow, can be easily outhinked, but he's still, the ruler of the world. He says that in fact, he is a complete idiot, and out comes the Vicious One. He says he's had enough of them, and it's all starting tonight. He says that Nash is half the man he is, and that he (Sid) has half the brain that Nash does (funny if it's a slip-up, funny if it isn't) Sid tells Hall that his run for the WCW title stops tonight, and if Nash will get his chickensh*t self out of retirement, he'll show him who the ruler of the world is tonight. Nash says he's still retired, Sid tells him that he's just a shell of his former self, and that everyone knows it, and there ends the segment.
Backstage, Tenay is with Booker T, and tells him that he is facing Creative Control (named Patrick and Gerald - hint hint - Briscoe and Patterson) and that he wants to know who the mystery woman is. Booker says there's a time to talk, and that midnight will strike a lot earlier than CC thinks, and I can dig that. Cut to Kim, trying to get past Pat and Gerald to see the powers.
Kim is meeting with the powers and saying that she doesn't want to be a wrestler, and Mr. Power says that she's still under contract, and that she will wrestle a warm up match tonight against Asya, but there will be a special ref to make sure Kim doesn't get hurt. Anyone besides me thinking David Flair? Power tells the Harris twins to take care of Booker T, and as they leave, Nash comes in and sits down. Cut to Booker T backstage coming to the ring when he gets accosted by Chavo Guerrero who tries to stick him with some Amway crap.
Match 2: Booker T. vs Patrick and Gerald - Creative Control
Handicap tag match
Before the match starts, Tony announces that Nash has just come out of retirement and will face Sid in an anything goes street fight. Booker turns the tide with a double dropkick, sending one man out of the ring, and Booker hits the axe kick and missile dropkick and gets a two count, but the other bald man breaks it up, and the twins get the pin. Post match, Booker is getting beat down when the lights die, a clock bell sounds, and when the lights come up, the woman is in the ring again, and the two whup ass on Creative Control. Hmm...with the Lights Out Clock Bell Thing, I have a funny feeling this girls name will be Midnight.
Winner: Creative Control
Backstage, Hart is yelling at Knobs, saying he cost him the Hardcore Championship by not helping him when Norman had him pinned, and then a general fracas breaks out among the First Family members, and Jerry Flynn takes his ball and goes home, saying he's tired of the First Family. Now THAT'S a career move...
Creative Control is being chewed out by Mr. Power, and he reminds them of their past gimmicks, saying he can't believe they got beat by a woman. Power tells him to go backstage and find Torrie and the luchadors.
Match 3: Referee Johnny Boone vs. Evan Karagias
Madusa is walking around outside the ring watching the match which is pretty much a fistfight turned squash by Evan. Madusa goes to the broadcast table and says that Evan is her man and she's here to stand by him. In the ring, Boone has the advantage, and is ripping pieces of Evan's jewelry off, when Madusa hits the ring, starts playing nice with Boone, and he swoons and gets pinned by the Karagias one.
Winner: Evan Karagias
Backstage, the luchadors are talking with the power. Power tells them that tonight he's gonna give them a chance to make 10 grand. He's going to put them all in a ring with some sticks, and they can beat each other, beat themselves, or beat on the pinata, which will hold the check.
Cut to the outside of the arena, where DR. DEATH is making is WCW return apparently, being escorted by a JR look-a-like.
Backstage, the Bald Guys are looking for Torrie, and tell one of the security guys to be on the lookout for her.
Match 4: Juventud, Psychosis, Silver King, and a few other random luchadors
During the match, Dr. Death and the JR clone come to the broadcast position, tell Tony and Bobby to step aside, and start to do some commentary. The JR clone is funny as hell, as he talks about Dr. Death, the great 4-time All American from Oklahoma, says that his BBQ sauce will be out in about 23 years, tries to say slobberknocker, but comes out as slogfest. Just as the pinata is busted open, Death hits the ring, kills all the luchadors and takes the check. Classic, classic television. JR clone finally gets a slobberknocker comment out
Winner: Who the hell knows? Who the hell cares?
Backstage, Tenay is with Goldberg. Bill says he has respect professionally for Hennig but personally, he could care less about contracts. He says that he's the real power in WCW, and that he likes his job and that tonight, he's going to use Hennig to provide a reality check for the rest of the wrestlers in WCW.
After commercial, Nash is with Tenay, says that he retired because WCW sucked, but now that Hall's back it's fun. He says Sid shouldn't have woken a sleeping giant, and that tonight, he's going to climb up Sid's ass and kick his teeth out from inside.
Match 5: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig
As Goldberg opens his door, Hennig runs up and slams it on his head. Bill opens it and the two fight all backstage as they make their way to the ring. Goldberg pretty much controls it from the entryway on. When they finally get to the ring, the Goldberg chant is loud as hell. Hennig starts to work on Bill's knee, tries a submission hold, no deal. Hennig retains the advantage, until Bill slaps on a chokehold from nowhere, gets in Curt's face and slaps on a submission hold, forcing Curt to tap out. Postmatch, Goldberg hits the spear and jackhammer.
Winner: Goldberg
Backstage, Kim is on the phone with DDP commenting on how scared she is, when the lights go out and she starts to flip out until Maintenance Man Duggan shows up and gives her a flashlight while he fixes the fuses. Outside, Creative Control finds the Animals and tell them to find Torrie or else they will be unemployed.
After commercial, Duggan is still looking for fuses when Chavo walks up and gives him one out of his Amway case...and so begins a beautiful friendship...
Match 6: Vampiro w/Misfits vs. Berlyn w/The Wall (bodyguard)
Does anyone else think so, or is it just me, but I think Vampiro is trying to be the new Raven, associating with the Misfits and getting all gothic. Weird. Oh well, Vamp and Berlyn start out in the ring. Berlyn tags in the Wall, who gets jumped by all the Misfits and chokeslams them all, leaving Berlyn to fight both men. Berlyn lays him out with an inside crescent kick. Wall goes for the cover, Berlyn pulls him off and tells him to stand in the corner. Vamp hits and enziguri and a Vampiro spike while Wall watches. Berlyn reverses a move off the top ropes and covers Vamp, but Wall pulls him off. Vamp tries to roll Berlyn up, but he kicks him off and into Wall who chokeslams him and takes the pin. Post match, Berlyn gets the chain, looks like he's going to bring down the Wall, but instead beats Vamp with it and chokes him out.
Winner: Berlyn and The Wall
Backstage, Creative Control has found Torrie, and Goldberg is hanging around backstage for some reason...
After commercial, Torrie is back with Mr. Power, who tells Torrie that she's the special ref in the Kimberley/Asya match tonight.
Match 7: Rick Steiner vs. Sid Vicious
WCW TV Title Match
The fight quickly goes inside the rails among the fans and out near the walkway, with Sid beating the hell out of Steiner, eventually powerbombing him through a weak part of the stage, smashing the wood to pieces...and off to commercial. After the commercial, the paramedics are strapping Steiner to a stretcher, and wearing a neck brace. The crowd turns Steiner into a face as soon as they carry him out, clapping and barking the whole time. The camera follows them to the back and to the waiting ambulance. This might be legit, as Steiner's head is taped to the stretcher.
Winner: No Contest?
Backstage, Tenay interviews Sid, who says that this is just the beginning, and since he is the Millennium Man, he has 2000 ways to send Nash back into retirement.
In the basement, Jerry Flynn and the Barbarian are having a physical disagreement with each other, with Barbarian having the clear advantage early on, with Flynn going into the steel garage door a couple times. Flynn puts on a sleeper hold, but Barbarian sends him back into the door. Flynn breaks out the dreaded Lightning Foot, knocking Barbie...err Barbarian out cold.
Tenay is with Benoit, who says Scott Hall can't keep him from the World Title belt, and that he's the real deal...
Match 8: Asya vs. Kimberley w/Torrie as special ref
Hot damn...Torrie has her special referee's outfit, a very smaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll black and white striped bikini. Asya gets into a disagreement with Torrie, and they start fighting as Kim looks on. Torrie is rolled to the outside, and the Animals come down, give her a robe, and take her backstage. Kim jumps Asya from behind and starts choking her out, when David Flair comes out in a referee's shirt and crowbar, only to get laid out by Asya...who drops a stiff looking elbow in the men's department of the David Flair store. She comes after him with the crowbar, but he kicks her off and suplexes her, which brings out Shane Douglas, who gets nailed by the Figure Flair Crowbar hold and leaves the ring...
Winner: See the luchador result...
Backstage, a delivery man brings a bouquet of flowers to Sting. Sting reads the note, which says "Sting - let's talk - The Total Package." Sting says he knew TTP had a feminine side, and tells the deliveryman to tell TTP he's going to kick his teeth in. Package sees all of this on a monitor and is visible upset, and tells Liz to think of something else. And after that, Goldberg is show enjoying the complimentary buffet backstage while pondering the problems of his beloved Atlanta Falcons (here's a tip Bill...no skill players on offense...) Either that, or he has something on his mind for the rest of tonight...
After commercial, Kim is running out of the building into the Arkansas night, trailed by David Flair, who comments that it won't be that easy six days from now..
Match 9: Scott Hall vs. Chris Benoit
WCW Title Tournament Match
Y'know, I really like Benoit, I think he'll win the tournament, but he needs to lose those royal tights...As Benoit comes out, Hart's music hits and the Hitman comes out to sit on the side of the Crippler. Hall chucks his toothpick at Chris, who returns the favor by snotting on him. Match goes back and forth until Hall goes outside, bringing Nash to the apron, which brings Hart to the apron. Back in the ring, Benoit puts on the chops and some punches, followed by a scoop slam. Hall gets the momentum, but loses it after a reversal and snap suplex. Nash tries to get involved, but Benoit sends him down, letting Hall nail Benoit with a lariat for a two count. While the ref isn't looking, Nash nails an elbow on Benoit. Hall hits a fallaway slam, only a two count. Hall puts on the sleeper, Benoit's down, but back up, picks him up and suplexes him, both men down, Hall struggles over for a pin, but gets two. Benoit gets some kicks in, throws him to the ropes and hits him with a forearm for a one count. Benoit dropkicks Hall out and hits a baseball slide, but gets out of the ring, Nash goes to Outsider Edge Benoit, but Hart pulls him down and Benoit shoves Nash into the ringpost. Sid runs in and powerbombs Hall, Benoit hits the diving headbutt and covers, but Hall kicks out. Hall reaches "down there" and grabs an illegal object, taps Benoit on the shoulder, and he turns around, lays on the crossface and Hall taps out.
Winner: Chris Benoit
Backstage, Goldberg is in a room watching the tube. He's probably wondering what his good friend Paul Wight is doing with the WWF belt around his waist. He's not the only one...
Tenay is with Bagwell, who is very confident and proud of himself. He says he's gonna beat Jarrett tonight.
Match 10: Kidman w/Torrie and the Messy Beasties vs. Bret Hart
WCW Title Tournament Match
Little Rey Rey is kind enough to provide color commentary, and talks about his social habits. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter early on, but Kidman blocks it, and Hart catapults him out of the ring into the rails. Several Pro-Filthy Animal signs in the crowd, proving you can get over with a stupid name...as the two fight it out, The Outsiders come out to the ring and start accosting Torrie, bringing K-Dog and Eddy over, which conveniently prevents them from helping Kidman while Hart puts on the Sharpshooter. Hmmm...
Winner: Bret Hart
During the commercial break, the Outsiders jumped in the ring, laid out the Animals and apparently injured Rey Mysterio.
Back in the kitchen area, TTP and Liz get a plate of brownies from a cook, and start doing something to them...Tenay is with Double J, who promises to beat Bagwell whether he likes it or not. I think the censors bleeped out "slapnuts" again, even though Russo promised they wouldn't. Those damn censors...what a bunch of slapn**s. Dammit! They got me too...someone get me Russo on the phone...
Match 11: Buff Bagwell vs. Jeff Jarrett
WCW Title Tournament Match
About two minutes into the match, out come Patrick and Gerald to "observe." Bagwell goes for the Blockbuster, but instead comes down on a member of Creative Control. The other bald guy tosses in a guitar before Bagwell nails him. Jarrett gets the guitar, but Bagwell kicks him down, takes the six string, goes to nail Double J but hits a bald guy instead, giving Jeff the opportunity to hit the "Stroke," a reverse Russian leg sweep, and the pin. Post match, CC and Double J start beating on Bagwell some more, till Dustin Rhodes comes in and makes the save. After that, the two high five and Buff celebrates his loss with some flexes.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Backstage, Nash is psyching himself up for his match, Goldberg is headbutting soda machines to get free Surges, and TTP is stuffing the brownies with ex-lax.
After commercial, footage is shown of earlier where Tenay interviews the Revolution about the House of Pain match. Shane sells it as the most dangerous structure in WCW. Dean starts to talk about the Animals, when Saturn jumps in and says he loves the House of Pain, that him and Everlast are boys, that he's in one of their videos (He was...the Jump Around video.) Quick cut to the hallway, where Duggan stops the delivery man with the brownies and tells him he'll take them to the Stinger, but instead eats them himself.
Match 12: Revolution (Saturn and Malenko) vs. Filthy Animals (Eddy and K-Dog)
House of Pain Match
This is a tag match that can only be won by handcuffing both members of the other team to the cage by the arms and legs. Franchise has the privilege of helping out at the broadcast booth. Konnan is beat down early and doesn't get into the cage until later, while Eddy Guerrero is cuffed by both arms and one leg, and he puts his good leg to use, kicking whomever goes by...he's kinda like the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. Guerrero is completely cuffed, and K-Dog follows soon. Franchise and Asya come in to beat on the Animals, but Rey Rey runs in to save, but Asya lays him out with a lariat. Saturn grabs another pair of handcuffs, and they cuff Rey upside down from the roof of the cage by his leg, and Malenko works over his "injured" knee, until Doug Dellinger and WCW Security hit the ring and break up the fracas.
Winners: The Revolution
Match 13: The Total Package w/Liz vs. Sting
WCW Title Tournament Match
Well, if Sting's day as a hell weren't over yet, they pretty much died when the arena exploded in one loud pop when Mrs. Borden's favorite son Sting came to the ring. Better match that it should've been, Sting gets the Deathlock on, but Luger trips the ref up, allowing Liz to come in and mace Sting. Luger puts him in the Torture Rack, but Meng runs in and lays on the Tongan Death Grip and pulls Stinger on top for the pin.
Winner: Sting
So's that's the final four for Mayhem...Hart vs. Sting and Benoit vs. Jarrett...I was half right...
In the bathroom, Duggan is getting rid of the brownies, and while he isn't the #1 man in the company now, he's seems pretty familiar with #2...in the locker room area, Sid is preparing for Big Sexy's comeback tour.
During the commercial break, Goldberg left his locker room and starting walking fast...
Match 14: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash
Anything Goes Street Fight
Fight starts on the outside...you can tell it won't last long, Nash is still in a Red Wings jersey and jeans. Both men go over the rail into the front row. Nash is killing Sid in the ring, it goes outside and Sid takes over, tossing Nash into the steel covered broadcast table, then coming off it with an elbow. Nash recovers and brings Sid down, Sid hits the low blow, and both men go back inside, Sid takes down Nash and gets two, picks him up and knocks him right back down. Sid puts on a reverse chinlock and chops Nash's ribs, then lays a leg drop on Nash's Big Sexy. Sid takes off the vest and puts some big boots into Nash's chest. Sid hits the boot to the head and signals for the powerbomb. Sid sets him up and out comes Hall...it is an anything goes match...both Outsiders go to town on Sid, Hall chokes him out over the middle rope, and out comes Goldberg...Outsiders turn around and Goldberg hits a big double spear, which counts as more than anything because here goes the bell. Sid and Goldberg start to go at it, Sid hits a low blow and gets a chair, which brings out Bret Hart for the save
Winner: No Contest?
